Not been a good day to me.. After my duty, I went straight to our school to continue helping my colleagues in preparing the costumes and props they will used for Sunday's festival. Kuya told me that my other groupmate, Yamz, want to talk with us. It's obviously has something to do with our design project and I was right. I'm expecting he would get upset with us. Alam kong nappressure na xa kasi malapit ng magMarch. I'm also pressured namin e, pero I just don't want to get panic. Lalong wala kaming magagawa nyan. Yun, pagdating ko sa skul, sabi ni Kuya, he wants to talk with us. It seems na hindi xa bothered sa tono ng kanyang pananalita. At ako, syempre lalo akong nagworry. THis is supposedly the third time na he will scold us. We just helped a little sa props para makapunta kami sa kabilang bahay. Nauna si Kuya.. I'm just afraid na baka ipush nila ako. Kami ni Cristine ang naiwan sa skul. Tinapos na lang namin ung first set ng task na binigay sa min ni sir jan. Tapos nun, umalis na kami. While on the way, we made presumptions on what will happen when we arrive there. I took my dinner first. I'm so worried by that time. Medyo nakapagusap kami ni tin tin regarding dun. Sabi ko, "eto na naman, sermon na naman to.." OO nga, ok lang naman un, kasi xa nga ang leader namin, he has the authority. On the other hand naman, why would he got upset if almost 1 night lang namin kami wala. The other night, we were there. pero xa ang wala. Then kinabukasan, sir Jan asked a favor and tumulong kami. I bet he knew that naman. And wait, why can't he work alone if sya naman talaga ang nakakaalam ng lahat. I know it's unfair na he's working and we're not. Pero, technically, mas marami syang alam. We're helping him naman e and sinusunod naman namin ang gusto nya. Sabi nga ni tintin, mas dapat na xa ang kumilos kasi xa ang may alam. And that's why we're depending on him. Because I know myself that I'm not knowledgeable enough pagdating sa bagay na yun. ANd I'm doing my best naman na intindihin yung instructions nya. I'm just disappointed kasi, sobra din xang magdepend samin, na dapat kami ang dumedepend sa kanya. INITIATIVE, yes.. Dapat rin naman akong maginitiate, but I'm relying on his ideas. Sya kasi, ayaw nya magwork pag wala kami. E hindi naman sa lahat ng oras magkasama kami. Sinasabi nya na, "I'm just observing you guys, d ba kau threatened na malapit na march?" What do you want me to do??? Magpanic para malaman nya lang na worried na din ako. Ayoko lang sila ipressure. Anu ba to.. Ngaun pa nagkaganto..
Saka isa pa, ayokong isipin na nagkakaganito sila kasi wala akong nacontribute na cash sa kanila. OO, sila lahat ng gastos, tapos ako wala. Nakakaasar ang ganitong buhay. Kung may pera lang talaga kami e. at kung may alam lang ako, e di sana kahit wala sila, makakatrabaho ako. Eh un nga ang problema. Lacking ako sa lahat. Cash and knowledge.
Let's just close this case. I'll just put my effort to its fullest.
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