Forward?

I have a big dilemma. Will I pursue the position of being an RTA or will I just stay as an agent?

If I will choose being an RTA...

- I will be introduced to new things, new people, new tools, new ideas, new lessons
- the title is a nice addition to my resume
- it will be a good move, career-wise.. I guess
- I will not take calls anymore, and it means no incentives. My basic pay will increase though, but the incentives are much higher . I need money!!!
- I won't be able to call-in. Attendance is a must. I can't be late anymore, oops, I always get late.
- More overtime, can't go home right away.
- I will have email access.
- I will need to submit reports to the management and the client. This will enhance my formal communication as well
- I will need to deal more with the management. I'm not really comfortable with them.
- I need to flag agents for aux violations, which I know is very annoying on the agents' end.

If I stay being an agent...

- I can go home after my shift right away
- I will still be eligible for my incentives, which means more money
- I can go home without thinking about my job
- I can be absent and late. I have my PTOs, right?
- I could just go back in Teresa and resign.
- I will still be with my team.
- I will take and take and take calls. Can't get away with those irate customers.
- I like taking calls more. Who knows, I could be a QA or a mentor.


I'm not  yet decided. What I feel right now, I want to quit. I want to go back on phones. I would rather take calls. But I don't want to be an agent forever. This could be my chance. This is an opportunity and I don't want to miss out opportunities that could change my life forever. I'm not liking the position because of how I feel about the training. I felt that I'm so slow. I don't want to be scolded because I know I'm doing my best in everything. Maybe my ego was just hurt. I really am. I'm weak inside. I don't want anybody to get mad at me because I failed their expectations. I just felt that my efforts to learn are not appreciated. I'm discouraged. I don't want this feeling. I don't want the feeling that somebody's upset because I failed them, because I failed something they asked me to do. I am trying. I'm struggling. I want to learn. I want to grow. Maybe I'm still immature inside. I always take everything personally. I don't know. Here's how I think. Yes, what others say and how they say it matters to me. I really don't want anyone to get mad at me. I hate it. I can't stand too much pressure. I'm emotionally weak. I just need some pep talk Well, if positive words were provided during the training, I would not feel ill about this position. All I want right now is to get out of this, and get back my life. But,  what if I go back? How will I move forward.

Think think think.. I'm very confused...