The Venting Me Again

Okay.. I suddenly realized that I'm not liking anymore what I'm doing. First, I have very less free time. I can't do my stuff  that I used to do when I got home. Less time for blogging, playing and surfing. Secondly, she's power tripping. Suddenly, she's getting into my nerves. I just hate her style of teaching. She makes me feel like I'm so dumb. I ain't no computer! I'm trying to absorb everything that she's teaching me because I know moving forward, I'll be doing the same thing. The point is, she wants me to master everything right away. Everything is new to me and I understand that it's her former job. I maybe slow, because it's my first time. I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M DOING!!! AM I NOT ALLOWED TO COMMIT MISTAKES?! AM I NOT ALLOWED TO FORGET EVERY SINGLE DETAIL SHE TAUGHT ME?! She's so overwhelmed that she's the one teaching me. Oh man. I thought this new job and responsibility would be exciting since it's my chance to be off the phones. I'm still in the learning stage, ISN'T THAT UNDERSTANDABLE? DO YOU THINK I WILL GET EVERYTHING YOU TAUGHT ME THE FIRST TIME I APPLIED ALL THESE CRAPS?!!! DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PERFECT ENOUGH?! HELP ME UNDERSTAND! DON'T MAKE ME FEEL THAT I'M NOT UNDERSTANDING.

Nakakaasar kasi eh. Imbis na iencourage ka matuto, PI pabalang magsalita habang nagtuturo. Kakasuya talaga lalo na pag may nalimutan ako. Mukha ba kong computer para maalala lahat yun, e di pa nga naapply. Tapos first time nga iaapply. What do you expect? Pinamumukha mo namang bobo ako neto eh. Umaatake na naman ego ko, alam ko.. Iba kasi ang approach eh. Di naman ako ganun magturo eh. Pusang ina kasi, parang tanga magsalita kapag natitigilan ako sa mga processes. Tanginumin talaga, sa dami ba naman ng dapat gawin, mamememorize ko ba yun lahat. Tapos first time ko nga iapply eh, di ba dapat iwinowalkthrough ako ng maayos, hindi un kapag may iba akong ginawa o may mali akong ginawa, parang ipapamukha sayo na parang wala kang utak para di mo magawa ung dapat gawin. Magpapakumbaba na lang ako. Sya ang nasa position. Alamin ko na lang lang ang dapat kong alamin, para kung alam ko na lahat, di na ko hihingi ng tulong sa kanya. Magtiis na lang muna ako. Pero pano ko maeenjoy ang learning experience na to kung ganyan ang mentor mo. Di ka man lang ieencourage. Ang sasabihin pa puro dapat ganto dapat ganyan, dapat di ka ganto dapat di ka ganyan. Oo alam ko naman na maganda nga yung ganun. Kaso ung approach nga. Para talang ipinamumukha sa yo na parang na pakatanga mo naman para di maintindihan lahat to. Basta nababadtrip ako sa mga ganun. I know I'm doing well at academics, and that was before. Etong ginagawa namin, everything is all new to me. I need some understanding sana rin naman naiintindihan niya yun no. Asar e. Nakakaasar. Nakakadegrade ang approach niya. Sasabihan ka na di ba tinuro ko na yan. E pang ilang beses lang ba nya sinabi un, isa lang. Kaya nga nagtatanong e para maintindihan e. Kaya nga minsan ayoko talaga magtanong ng mga di ko alam kasi un ung ipapamukha saken, na di ko alam. Ano silbi ng pagtatanong. Di ba kung may instructions ka, dapat gumagawa ka ng paraan para maintindihan at maaalala nya mga yun, hindi ung sasabihn, ano, latency na naman bla bla bla.. wag ka maglinger sa isang page bla bla bla.. basta nakakadown talaga.. GRRRRR.. di bale, nakapagvent na ko, dapat mamaya ok na ko. Magtiis na lang. Isipin ko na lang na bobo ako para di ako masyado apektado. OK? Got to sleep.

Tired

I really am.. I'm so deprived of sleep.. Gotta rest now..

The real meaning of SACRIFICE ~ Trainman & His Son

Dream Late

I was sleeping.. with the background music of Kris Allen, Boyce Avenue and Lee DeWyze. Then I was dreaming. I'm in a concert. It reminded me the Cebu Musicfest last February, but this time it's only Kris Allen. Then I woke up. It's almost 10. I'm almost late. And yes, I got late. Oh man.. First day of the week and I'm late again.

Work related.. I'll just wait for some updates. I want to stop taking calls. But still, this graveyard shift will still kill me. Gotta sleep now.. with the same background music.. Let's see if I will still get late.

July 8 and 9, 2010

I was late for like 45 minutes last Thursday and 57 minutes last Friday. This is now getting out of hand. I've been late for 3 straight weeks since I've been endorsed to IFP. This will be a new week. I want to change this. I need to change this. 

By the way, I've been staying a couple of hours after my work to help our RTA (Real Time Analyst) finish some of her tasks. She assigned break adjustments to me. She's planning to appoint me as her peer RTA because she's now alone doing all the tasks as far as workforce management is concerned. I would love to be part of the workforce management since this will be an opportunity for growth and to get out of phones. It would be very much challenging as well because I have never tried doing that and I have very little idea on how workforce management works. And observing our RTA Jaz, she always go home late. There are really lots of things to finish. I'll continue to help her anyway in the coming weeks until she will be given a go signal to get me as her official Peer RTA. :)

July 7, 2010

Nothing new.. still the usual tardy me.. I really need to work on this. I've been tardy for 2 weeks straight and I've been riding the taxi .. and that's everyday. Before, when I got late, it will only be less than 10 minutes. I've been late for more than 15 minutes a couple of times. I can blame my new sched, yes. 10:30 is really early for me. I really need to adjust my sleeping time. 5 PM, I should already be sleeping. I hope, later.. I won't be late, and I won't be riding the taxi again. I'm really running out of money. I still need to send money to my sister for the preparation of my nephew's christening..

I've set my goals yesterday, and I'm positive that I can follow that today and moving forward. All I really need is some discipline.

'The Last Airbender' Trailer

Avatar The Last Air Bender - showing this month.. I'll absolutely watch this!

The Twilight Saga Eclipse Official Full Trailer (HD)

I just want to share the trailer. I wasn't able to watch Newmoon, so I don't think I will watch this either. I'll just wait for the DVDRip.. :p

I think I need this..

Let's setup some goals.. I just felt that my life is getting a bit unorganized because I'm not planning anything. I don't have something to look forward to. I checked my previous posts and I just found out that I did not post anything about my goals this year. I realized, I don't even follow them. I'll just sets goals one a time..


I think my time with the computer is really eating up all of my time and it's making me less productive. From now on, before playing FB games or DotA..

• I will wash the laundry first. It doesn't matter how many, as long as I will be able to wash something. 
• I should post one article in this blog and in globaldailystar.com

*Exception is if my classmates asked me for a game. Of course, I don't want to keep them waiting. Lols.

I want to study. I want to learn more about MS Excel. Alright, I think this will be my course this month. Before the month ends, I should be more advanced with Excel. 

And also, I will not switch or divert my attention to another thing unless I'm done with what I'm currently doing. I really have a short attention span and I easily get bored. 

That's all I can think about now. I'll now start searching for learning modules for MS Excel. 

Confused

I'm thinking whether I should find a new job or should I stay with this job that I'm bearing with. There's nothing wrong with my current job, being a customer service representative. But career-wise, should I stay longer? I'm thinking that I need to find a long-term job, something that I can use in the future. Though I learned a lot of things working in a call center, it is depriving mo to learn beyond my reach. Guess I'm tired staying up all night and speaking with people I cannot see, and I feel that I'm not that much compensated.

What do I want? I want a day time job that will make me feel that I love working. That's the same feeling when I was working for Lexmark, even if I'm just a student trainee. I would want to apply, but considering what's left in my brain, it would be an all or nothing situation. It's either they would consider me for the job, or it would be another failure for me. I failed twice..

I don't know what to do. My plan is, I would want to stay for a year in my current company. I never had a working experience that lasted for a year. I think this is my chance. Let's see what will happen.. I just don't want to miss opportunities again.